Choices
by TinkerBella7
Summary: At the end of one long day, Hetty and Deeks have a little chat at a bar.


Overall it hadn't been the best of days. It hadn't been the worst of days, either.

Going undercover as Max Gentry was never Deeks favorite thing to do. It definitely wasn't high on his list of favorite things today, even though he had helped to bring down an international terrorist. However, getting kidnapped and beat up had pretty muched sucked. Reminding himself that Callen hadn't fared much better today helped, a little.

In the end, as he collected his gear, Deeks felt satisfied. The bad guys were either dead or locked up, an innocent man was home with his family and he could head home tonight feeling like he'd done something good. The bumps and bruises he got along the way were worth it. The hardest part of today would be shaking off Max. Gentry was a dark side of himself that Deeks would rather forget even existed.

"Mr. Deeks."

"Fraggle rock!" Deeks jumped, feeling his heart rate skyrocket, as he turned to face his diminutive boss. "Hetty, are you trying to scare me to death?"

Hetty looked amused. "If that were my intent, Mr. Deeks, I assure you, you would be dead right now."

Deeks shook his head, patting his chest as his heart rate returned to normal. "You realize that's not comforting, right?"

"Why are you still here?" Hetty countered, watching him closely. Her all-seeing gazed missed nothing. "The others left over an hour ago."

"I just wanted to finish up all the paper work before heading out," Deeks replied, hedging the truth just a little bit. "You said we could have tomorrow off for a long weekend and I don't want to come back Monday to a full bin."

There was a long moment of rather uncomfortable silence, as if Hetty were debating the truth of his words, before she nodded. "Admirable, Mr. Deeks. I do hope you enjoy your time off. You've earned it."

Deeks smiled, knowing that was her way of saying he'd done a good job. "Thanks." Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Deeks was about to go when he found himself turning back to ask, "Would you like to join me for a drink, Hetty?" Where that had come from he didn't know, but he wasn't going to take it back. It was worth following through for the look on Hetty's face alone.

"I would like that very much, Mr. Deeks," she replied, swiftly regaining her composure. "I'll meet you at the place where I offered you this job. Say, twenty minutes?"

"I'll see you there." Deeks offered a jaunty salute before heading out.

Twenty minutes later, on the dot, Hetty slid onto the seat across from Deeks.

He had chosen a corner booth in the back and had taken the liberty to order her a scotch. He had whiskey in his own glass, still untouched.

"To...the good guys," Hetty toasted, lifting her glass.

"I'll drink to that," Deeks allowed, clinking his glass to hers before taking a big a swallow. He could feel the whiskey burn all the way down and it warmed him from the inside out, chasing away a chill he hadn't realized was affecting him.

For a moment they enjoyed their drinks and the quiet, since they alone in their corner. But quiet wasn't something Deeks was comfortable with for long. Quiet meant his mind went to places he'd rather not go.

So he took another swallow of his whiskey, as a bit of liquid courage, before locking eyes with his boss. "Hetty, can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything," she allowed.

"Okay," Deeks knew exactly what she was saying. "But...will you answer it?"

Giving a slight nod in recognition of his understanding of the nature of her response, she replied, "If I can."

Now that he had permission, Deeks found himself hesitating. The question he wanted to ask was one that had been lurking for a long time. Ever since she'd asked him to sign on in the liason position, in fact. As much as he wanted an answer for it, a part of him wasn't sure he wanted to know. Then again, he knew this opportunity might not come again, so he forged ahead. "Why me?"

"Excuse me?" Hetty paused in the act of taking another sip of her Scotch. "Exactly what are you asking me, Mr. Deeks?"

"Why did you pick me to be your liason?" It was harder to ask than he had expected. Mainly because he really did not want to be disappointed in the answer. But it was out there, so now he waited for her reply.

Hetty held is gaze for a moment, before dropping her eyes to her glass. She cupped it in both hands, shifting it to swirl the golden liquid inside. A long moment passed before she replied, "I chose you because you are the best man for the job."

Deeks couldn't help but laugh, all the more so when Hetty gazed at him askance. She probably thought he was losing his mind. He wasn't, he just couldn't help but be amused by her obvious fib. "Come on, Hetty. I suck at liasing. I'm pretty sure the desk Saergent at LAPD could do a better job than me."

"Perhaps, at the liasing part," Hetty conceded, a smile brightening her face. "But not at the part that's important, dear."

"And what part would that be?" Deeks prompted.

Hetty took another sip of Scotch, before once again contemplating the contents as if the golden liquid might contain the wisdom of the universe. Deeks was beginning to think she wasn't going to answer him when she stated, "You are the piece of the puzzle that completes us, Mr. Deeks."

He wasn't sure how to respond to that, nor did she give him a chance. With a wave of one hand to silence him, Hetty continued.

"All of us, individually, bring something unique to the table. Our strengths and our weakness." Hetty lifted her gaze, eyeing Deeks fondly. "The right combination creates an unimaginable strength. A bonding that can withstand any force of nature. It's not perfect, it has flaws, but we learn and grow and become better because of them. That is why I chose you, Mr. Deeks. Because you were that final piece that I'd been searching for."

"Wow...Hetty, that's like really, really, profound." Deeks was almost at a loss of words. Almost. "Like, Yoda profound." To be honest, he wasn't totally sure if what she'd said was a good thing or a bad thing. Being a part of NCIS has certainly been an interesting thing.

She chuckled. "Then I consider myself to be in good company."

Deeks nodded, feeling a bit uncertain of where to go from here. She had answered his question, but not in a way he had expected, and she hadn't really satisfied his curiosity either. "Can I ask another question?"

"Go for it," Hetty allowed.

"When you asked me to join NCIS as the liason, you had a file folder filled with information on me. That stuff had to take you a while to collect." Deeks studied Hetty, looking for a reaction, without really knowing what he was hoping to see. When she simply stared back at him, he asked his question. "Were you watching me? I mean...I guess what I'm asking is, did you know who I was before we worked together that first time?"

Hetty nodded. "I did."

That was what Deeks was looking for. "For how long?"

"A while." As always, Hetty's answer was more enigmatic than informative. But she gave him one more little tidbit. "Let's just say I like to my homework. I make informed choices, Mr. Deeks."

"Fair enough." He knew that was about as good an answer as he was going to get. So Deeks smiled at Hetty, silently thanking her, as he finished off his drink. He supposed he should say goodnight and head for home, but he was reluctant to go there. He just didn't want to be alone tonight.

Hetty seemed lost in thought for a moment, eyes closed.

Deeks began to wonder if maybe something was wrong. Maybe he could help her with something. But before he could open his mouth, he found Hetty staring pointedly at him. "Do I have something on my face?" Deeks queried, swiping at his cheek but finding nothing on his palm.

"No." Hetty smirked at him, as if enjoying watching him squirm. "I have a question of my own to ask."

"Anything." Deeks knew he would give her what she wanted because, in a weird sort of way, she had given him so much. Without her job offer he never would have known what it was like to be a part of a team. He would never have met Kensi, and Deeks couldn't imagine his life without her. Even though she was thousands of miles away from him at the moment, she was still in his heart. She was the reason life seemed better than before. "What do you want to know?"

Hetty finished off her Scotch, set the glass aside then focused her full attention on Deeks. Clearing her throat, she asked her question. "Why haven't you signed the paperwork to become a full NCIS agent?"

Huffing out a sigh, Deeks ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating how to answer. It was a tough question because he didn't know why himself. Hell, it was the question he'd been asking himself for the past 2 years. Reaching for the cocktail napkin, Deeks began shredding it. Anything to avoid the laser beam intensity of Hetty's gaze. Sometimes he swore she could see straight inside him.

"Hetty..." Deeks began, only to fall silent.

"Take your time, Mr. Deeks," she encouraged him. "I'll wait."

He nodded, without looking up, continuing to shred the napkin until it was a messy black pile. "I told you that I wasn't ready at first because I defined myself as a cop. Because it was who I am."

Hetty nodded. "I remember."

"Yeah, well...that changed after a while," Deeks confessed. "Bates even told me that I had a home at NCIS, and I told him that it felt like that's where I belong."

"But?" Hetty prompted, handing over her napkin for him to shred.

Deeks smiled a thank you and let his nervous fingers shred another messy pile of black paper. "But then there was Sam. No matter what I did, no matter that I did the same job as the rest of them, I wasn't good enough. I didn't look like him, I didn't train like him, I didn't belong."

Hetty sighed, reaching out with one hand to tap him on the forearm. Wait for Deeks to look at her before stating, "He was wrong."

"He apologized to me after that whole...you know...thing..." Deeks didn't thinking about Siderov and saying his name gave him chills, much like saying Voldemort in the Harry Potter world.

"I'm glad." Hetty looked pleased.

Deeks pushed aside his piles of shredding and made eye contact with Hetty. "After that stuff happened, I thought about walking away from everything. "

Hetty held his gaze. "But you didn't." She had come to see him, she knew how close he had come to walking away.

"I didn't," Deeks confirmed. "Then I started thinking maybe it was time to sign those papers. To get off the fence."

"And yet, you didn't." Hetty's gaze didn't waver. Silently she willed Deeks to continue.

He felt nervous, uncertain, unwilling to say what he'd been thinking. To reveal the truth about how he felt to Hetty, when he hadn't even had the courage to admit it to himself. But maybe this was the kick in the ass he needed. "I signed the papers. I signed them the morning of the day you sent Kensi on her mission. " Deeks spoke in a rush, feeling nauseous but a little bit relieved at the same time.

The look of surprise on Hetty's face was priceless. Deeks was half tempted to pull out his phone and take a picture, instead he waited, feeling apprehensive, for her response. Because, to be honest, a big reason why he still hadn't turned the papers in, was Hetty herself.

"Why haven't you turned them in?" Hetty got over her surprised and asked the million dollar question.

"I wanted to leave my options open," Deeks confessed. He almost laughed at the confusion on Hetty's face. He was batting a thousand today, totally rattling her cage.

Hetty smoothed all expression off her face as she queried, "What options?"

Deeks figured he owed her the truth, but he had a question of his own. "When Kensi gets back, will we still be partners?"

"I don't see any reason why not," Hetty replied.

"Until she gets back and we know for sure, I'm going to hold on to those papers." Deeks could see that she understood what he meant. Because if his *thing* with Kensi meant they couldn't be partners, he was okay with going back to LAPD. So long as he and Kensi could have a private life together. That mattered to Deeks far more than the job ever would.

Hetty nodded. "Understood, Mr. Deeks." She slid out of the booth. "And with that, I bid you good night. Enjoy your time off. Oh, and thank you for the drink. I enjoyed our talk."

Deeks got up as well. "Me too. Good night, Hetty." That said, he watched her walk out of the bar. After throwing a ten on the table, Deeks headed out to his car. He slid behind the wheel and reached for the glove compartment. Popping it open, he removed a sheaf of papers. The forms with his signature on them. His ticket to becoming an full-time, full-fledged NCIS agent.

When Kensi got home, he would show her the papers, ask if that's what she wanted him to do. If they were on the same page, then he would turn them in.

They would make that choice...together.

THE END


End file.
